He walked in while we were having breakfast. He was late but he smiled and my heart softened before he joined us. My parents were already done and were leaving the table for us.
“I’m sorry, something came up.” I smiled in understanding, serving him some portions of the eggs.”
“Sausages?”
“Please.”
I dropped some into his plate and scooped some mashed potatoes too. He smiled and picked the cutlery. His eyes beaming in excitement.
“Is everything alright? You are quiet. Where is Tofat?”
I smiled. “Who knows?” He giggled.
I sat watching him eat, trying to figure out the point in my life when this guy began to matter so seriously to me.
Smart, tall and incredibly handsome. That was my Etim. We had met at a wedding. Naija weddings in the States always had many Nigerians in attendance. I always avoided such functions because most never ended well for me. It’s either you see someone you’ve been avoiding or you somehow catch the picture of a big fish waiting to be caught. He had approached me in his super-sleek ways and I had smiled, just out of politeness. He was one of the grooms-men. They must have done a proper rehearsal before the wedding because their entry and display at the wedding reception was very entertaining. They even danced more than the ladies. It was after their show he had whispered a very faint ‘hi’ to me.
Semirah, my friend who had invited me hadn’t turned up. So I was there, alone and worried. He had taken the seat opposite of mine after cajoling me to stay just after Semirah had called apologizing that she couldn’t even make it after all. She had work commitments so she cancelled. She didn’t believe I was going to turn up there considering my frequent cancellations so she hadn’t alerted me. Awesome! He had smiled when I narrated the whole thing to him, suggesting that since I was there already, I could relax. At the end of the ceremony, we had exchanged numbers and that’s how the whole thing started.
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“Is there some way I can say this to make you understand better? Etim asked after dropping his fork. He was whispering so I cut him short, packed the dishes and dragged him to the patio. We sat. I looked at him, urging him on. “You see, I’m not the typical `say yes to me’ guy.” I stopped fiddling with my fingers and looked him full in the face. There was no hint of laughter or smile on his face. “I want to be your `he’s such a different man’ which I like to think I really am.” I smiled.
Saying yes to date Etim made my weekend one of the loveliest to be remembered. I had always known there was something different while we were friends. So when did I know he was `the one’? All along. I have always submitted all to God and I realized that anytime I’m with Etim, there’s this inner peace that engulfs me. Also friends talked about the glow that I always wore whenever he was around. (This was a check #1 in my book).
So how did I conclude he was `the one’? I had also hoped that whoever the man is, should be one who took communication very seriously and not just expect me to assume. When we have a misunderstanding, he should at least send a text or a mail or just call to still check on me. Something like… `Hey, just to let you know that though you seem to be the most annoying person right now, it doesn’t change the fact that I send you die, and I love you so much.
Over the months, Etim and I have had our share of misunderstandings, heated ones especially, but neither he nor I ever failed to check on each other. There were times when it was just text messages, there were times it was just a one liner e-mail, or even one-worders. There were times of different pictures of us frowning or even smiling, but there was never a time, in the history of our being together that we just went quiet without checking on each other. That was because we knew what role communication played. As for me it was TOUGH to send him a text after he had so pissed me off and I was still very angry, especially being one who liked being begged and pampered, but because we had sworn on effective communication, all I did was settle for blank text messages. At least it meant something.
Would you believe Etim and I never spoke about marriage for the ten months we dated? With friends, he would say, “My wife and I have always said, when `we’ get married bla bla bla bla,’ but we, the parties involved, never sat down to talk about it. Did it bother me? At first no, and later it became a huge concern. But he always defined our relationship, so I wouldn’t say I was really bothered. One thing was that whenever there was a problem or something bothered him or me, he would say, “We need to figure this out. He always referred to the `he and I’ situation as `we and us’, and I realized he was also someone who always involved God in everything he did. (Check #2 in my book).
I met his family after we started dating; his two brothers as well and his parents. And since he introduced me to his family as his girlfriend I decided to formally introduce him to mine. My father was quite cool with him, and always invited him over afterwards for family come chops and parties, but I realized that whenever he wanted to ask me of Etim, he always said.
“How is your friend?”
Does it mean Etim didn’t measure up?
“He’s good.” I’d say, watching every countenance and reaction from my parents but there was nothing. Plus I knew he was more than a friend. He was someone I could be silent with, yet hear his heart speak to mine. My mother wasn’t too particular about him, because of his tribe, but I was not ready to get into that discussion, knowing my mother. #rolls eyes#, so I decided not even confide in her. My younger brother Oluwatofarati, (we call him Tofat) was cool with Etim and always teased him as an `omo ibo’ even though he couldn’t care less where he was from. He said some additional testosterone was needed around. I love my brother to bits but he was really annoying too. All the same, that Tofat liked him was a consolation in place of my mother’s feelings of Etim.
Deji Savage (DS) was Etim’s closest buddy. There was never a comfortable time when around him. He was quiet. Creepy. He didn’t speak much. He just observed with his deep wicked looks. But he did the eyes well, he was good-looking. DS had invited friends over to this new place, somewhere along Sioux drive in Michigan and he wanted our opinion. Etim thought to come over to my place early so he could spend a couple of hours with my family before we leave. That would work for me since I had to help Semirah, with her hair. I felt my father could keep Etim company with the NBA finals in season while I went about my business with Semirah. I hoped it will give dad an opportunity to see in Etim his affection for me. An hour after I was done, I decided to freshen up before leaving while Semirah left to go run errands. She couldn’t make it down to DS’s place because of the obvious. She and DS always have issues going on, and coincidentally, it always happened whenever we all had to hang out. They were both weird. We got to DS’s place and our friends were already there, Roselyn, Seyitan, Bundo, Bolaji, Clarence, Edidiong & TK (Trevor Kupoluyi).
Guess who I saw feasting on the munchables? Semirah!!!
“Speedometer, I thought you weren’t going to be here?” I pinched her ears.
“I wouldn’t miss this for anything.” She replied but later adjusted when she saw my frown to, “I won’t miss… food for anything.”
We all got into talks about high school daysand our memorable escapades. Etim was so nervous, looking at DS constantly. With their body language, I could tell something was wrong. He took a sip of the wine that danced in his flute, took a glance at me and then back to our expectant friends.
“I feel so um…. I guess I could say good right about now.” He then pulled his chair close to mine and gave me this suspicious yet embarrassing, seductive look. Something was definitely up. But displaying that kind of emotion in the presence of everyone, made me more nervous than he looked. Suddenly everyone was looking at him.
He stuttered as he began to speak. “Jolaade, my name is Etim Ubon-Israel and I’ve gbaduned you from day one till tomorrow and I no fit keep am to myself again.” A sensation danced from my shoulders to my toes. He remained seated, fingers tapping the flute as he paused. “Your family is ready for you to move in with me once I get an answer to my question.” There was this weird sheepish smile on my face and I remember biting in the right side of my lower lip till it hurt and I let it go, I didn’t know what to say. How did Etim possibly pull this off? “Omojolaade Valerie Adenuga, will you do me the pleasure of getting into the ride of life with me as my friend, which you’ve been; my confidante, my wife and as the mother to our kids?” He slipped out a ring, holding it in the air. I looked into his eyes and admired his sincerity, all I heard was Semirah’s voice chanting
“Ki amsa tambaya” Answer the question woman.
And then I just remembered, he wasn’t on his knees, he’d proven to me, yet again that he could be different in his own way and still excite me. (And that sure turned me on, which was check #3 in my book).
“Yes.” I smiled. He lifted my finger, slipped the ring on it with his eyes never leaving my face. I hugged him. he rocked me in the embrace before kissing me soundly. I studied the rock and the new look it gave to my finger. Semirah was still talking and Bundo taking pictures. I smiled and whispered to him,
“Nice one.”
The smile I sent my friends was a go-ahead to start spilling how they had planned it without my knowledge. Everyone was congratulating us. DS’s countenance changed. He looked like he was forced to say a word or even smile. He had his constant gaze on Etim as he scratched his head but I was too excited to even consider his ways.
I called my family to share the news with them, my mother picked and before said.
“Congratulations o, he just sent a text that you said `Yes’.”
Apparently, the reason he had come to my house earlier on was to inform my parents that he was going to ask me to marry him in a couple of hours and he wanted their approval first. We took lots and lots of pictures, I thanked our friends and Etim took me home.
On our way home, his phone kept ringing but he didn’t pick it, I was shocked he left it ringing and would have asked for his reasons, but he had suddenly gone out of mood. All the sparks… dead. When finally he did pick, I heard his voice growl in an intense and angry tone.
“Yes…I would. I would explain it to her right away.” He almost screamed.
Who? Me? I was scared.
I rubbed my arms from the developing goose bumps and started wondering what was wrong. The frown was present. Then there was the angry curve to his lips, his constant blinking of his eyes- which he did whenever he was really angry about something, but his lips remained sealed tight. He finally dropped me over at my house, parked the car, put his finger beneath his chin and just stared in the air. I turned to him, but was too confused to say anything and so I pushed the door open.
“Here,” he outstretched an envelope. I was on the verge of tearing it open when he stopped me. “Please do it inside and don’t call me after you read it. However, I want you to know that irrespective of it all, you really do mean so much to me”.
Was I scared? Very. This was the man I wanted to marry?
I summoned the last litre of courage within me to thank him with and mumbled a lackluster `goodnight’. He didn’t respond he just drove off. With his sudden epileptic change of mood and the way he drove off, I couldn’t wait to get into my room before reading.
I already started sobbing. I thought of how many people had witnessed the proposal, the show of shame that will naturally follow and what explanation I’ll cook up to save my face.
I opened the envelope and the note read…
…………………………………To be continued
AmOy ©
Photo by Vain Life
Pearls & Oysters 