As I Illustrate My Story (AIIMS) 2 ————- Ameh and Oyster

I’m sorry but i can’t…

 

I opened the envelope. It was just a small piece of paper my hand connected with. I dropped the envelope, opened my eyes slightly and read it.

I’m sorry but I can’t…

“Oh my!” I slowly slumped to the ground with my back sliding off the wall. My mother ran in.

“What? What is wrong?”

I tried to explain but the words won’t just form.

She snatched the paper from me. Tofat came in, his phone attached to his ear.

“Oh, this is bad.” He whispered, he continued talking on the phone. “What? I can see it. No she hasn’t.”

“Will you switch off that phone and attend to your sister?”

He whispered more before cutting the call off. “Hey sis, what’s up?” He read the small note and smiled then he picked up the envelope and placed it in his pocket. “Don’t even think about it. Just calm down.” His phone rang again. Mum gave him the eye but he returned her glare. “Sorry I have to take this.”

“You think you are sleek, right? I give you credit because of this trouble.” Tofat mumbled as he walked away from mum and me. He walked a few meters towards the garden, turned his back on us and I burst into more tears. Here is my own life shattering before my eyes and my brother has conveniently gone back to his own usual life style, chatting with friends. I couldn’t hear him, but he was sure having a cool time, smiling and allowing his face get kissed by the sun.

“Who is he talking to?” Mum was pissed. “You better get off the phone and come and help your sister in.” She screamed as if I just had an accident. “You people are responsible for everything that happens to you. I’m certain this Etim will regret.” Tofat came in. He didn’t even have the decency to wipe off the smirk on his face from his call before moving to me to help me up. In fact the phone was still placed to his ear, supported by his right shoulder. He took a cool look at me

“All things work together for good.’

Yeah right

“I’ll call you later.” He whispered into the phone before ending the idiotic call that had taken my shine away from my brother.

All I needed to do now was to erase the event, ‘cos I couldn’t think. The expression my face wore would not be different from what you get when you mix yeast with water. My mum followed as Tofat walked me into my room. I turned to them.

“I’ll be fine. I really just need to lie down.” None of them moved. “Alone!!!” I almost screamed.

“Ma lo ma ro nu o. Lo we, ko le sun. Phone e da?” Don’t start getting yourself depressed. Get a bath and try to sleep it off. Where’s your phone?”

She snatched my phone from my hands before I could even give her and switched it off.  “We’ll talk about it at breakfast tomorrow with your dad.”

Breakfast?  Did this woman have any idea of the hurt I’m going through at all? So my dad too will know that his daughter has just been dumped!

“We’ll talk this through and know where to go from here”. I stepped in, but like I expected, mummy followed me and shut the door in Tofat’s face.

“A kuku mo nkan to’n pa iwo lerin. One has no idea what is amusing you? What’s so funny?” She hissed.

I turned on the water in my bath and soaked up. From the frosted door, I could see the image of mum sitting at my dressing table, waiting with a glass of water and a pill box. I didn’t bother drying off, so mum could mistake the tears that still drizzled for moisture. I took the pills from her, hiding my face as she tried to make eye contact. She heaved. I slipped into my night shirt, fell straight into bed and pulled the duvet over my shoulder.

I can’t explain how I slept through the night without any discomfort because honestly, I had an extremely sound sleep.

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Before breakfast which I was already dreading, I went to my brother’s room to ask for the envelope the note had come in.

“I must have thrown it in the trash.” I knew he was lying.

“How can you?”  I wanted to give Semirah a call immediately I woke up but mum had my phone. Now the envelope was gone. “Was there any other thing in the envelope?”

“Didn’t you check?”

“Stop trying to be cute, Tofat.”

His eyes went to the table and mine followed sighting the envelope. I dashed for it. He came after me but I was faster.

It was stuck to the insides of the envelope but I had missed it. I had just taken the note in between. I tore it open. It was hand-written, his cursive writing sliding over the note pad. My eyes skimmed through the lines, hungry to catch all in such little time.

I’m sorry but I can’t… believe I didn’t ask earlier.

I have always felt absolute peace around you. When we had our tense times, I was not for a second scared that you would leave. I spoke to our friends about you, and amazingly no one doubted our making an incredible pair. The ultimate to me was that each time I prayed you always called me immediately after. It was scary, but it has happened on more than eight occasions. If you say that’s not enough indication, then you’d have to come to me with something better. 

Joolz, I’ve always wanted to know what you think of us, but in these past months, I love what I’ve seen. I want to spend my life with you. I want to be the reason behind every smile. Thank you so much for saying yes to becoming my wife, and this is to the many thank you(s) we will testify to. Do I honestly love you? I’m sure time will tell. Sleep well, bask , and wake up with the excitement of being my wife in a few months.

 

“Wurrahell?” I screamed. “Why did he say I shouldn’t call him? Why did he stick that one to the envelope and let me read the… Oh, so who was he talking to,  and what about in the car? And why was Tofat grinning from ear to ear. Etim had fooled me and my brother was a big part of it all. With a deep breath and a teary smile on my face, I was grateful it was a prank.

“Ki lode?” Mum came in and frowning while I was trying to wring Tofat’s neck.

I wiped my face and gave her the note. Her nose was up in disgust as she started reading; and then I watched her fall into Tofat’s  chair, still reading with all seriousness. By now, her nose had adjusted to how lovely they use to be and she kept heaving.

Okay now, she’s starting to creep me out. Isn’t it just one page?

“Where did this come from?” She sounded deathly calm.

“It was in the envelope he gave me yesterday.”

“You didn’t see it?” I nodded. She sighed again. This was a new version of mum I was seeing. “I take it you knew about it, Tofat? You should have at least given me a hint. Mi o fe wahala o.

“It was just a joke mum. You’re taking it too seriously.”

“Do you know how many times I have rehearsed speaking to your dad about it? Or even calling his parents this morning? If I were you Jolaade, I’ll get closer to God and commit this ‘your’ Etim into God’s hands.” She passed my phone to me.

‘My’ Etim? I smiled. Typical

She made a pass at Tofat, as if to smack him on the head but he parried it smiling. She returned the letter and quietly walked out. I slipped it back in the envelope and Tofat was staring at me in surprise.

“Turn to the back.”

“What?” I screamed in fear. I did.

Can we get married sometime this year, please?

He had copied and pasted it to fill up the paper. My heart swelled with so much happiness, I could hear it pump in its arteries.

“Congrats sis. Sorry it’s delayed. I was only adhering to instructions. I am extremely proud of you.”

“Awwww! Thanks Tof.”

I shut the door gently after I entered my room. He picked the phone on the second ring and I attacked him.

“Who and what were you talking to on the phone while he dropped me off home?

“You don fear abi, who’s haunting you?” He chuckled. “Well, it was DS and Frank who called and told me that a good scare would do no harm.”

“They did well! Tell them they truly had me and mum fooled.”

“Your mum? Oh no! But I told Tofat. This is not good. What did she say?”

“She was almost calling your parents.”

He winced.

“Careful how you do these things? It wasn’t that funny. And it took so long too.”

“I started calling you all of yesterday but your phone was off. Tofat confirmed you were okay so I thought it was no problem. I’m so sorry. I’m never good at these games anyway.”

I laughed. He did too.

“We’ll talk more, right? I love you baby. Can we do dinner later?”

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We fixed our wedding for September 1^st in Nigeria, four months after being engaged. We started the planning and things were going on smoothly. Our list of invitees reduced to 150, I chose mint green and gold as my aso-ebi colors, the groom’s friends were going to wear plain white embossed fabric and mint green caps.  Semirah, Bundo, Roselyn, Seyitan and Solabomi (my cousin) were to be my bridesmaids, while Etim chose Uduak, his younger brother, his cousin Frank, TK, Yemi and of course everyone knew the groom’s men would be incomplete without DS. Etim’s parents helped in securing a popular and expensive wedding planner as our venue for the engagement and reception. All we had to do was choose who we wanted our caterers to be, for we had no clue on the full menu as yet.

***********************************************

Fast-forward to August 2nd 2007, Etim, Bundo, DS and I left for Nigeria. We finally got settled and started touching bases with our vendors, checking and rechecking our arrangements and our being on track with every preparation. Few hours after I left Bundo and DS over at Etim’s place, I got a call from DS telling me to see him an hour before Church service on Wednesday. I wondered why he wanted to see me before service, and at the church. DS was no church-goer.

You see, before the arrangements, Etim said DS had asked if he and I had talked about everything that had to do with our past and he had said ‘yes’; only for him to call me too asking if I was sure I had told Etim EVERY SINGLE THING that he needed to know. And so I began wondering what his stress was gan. Was that in the job-description of a best-man? I am as clean as can be and I had confirmed to him, so why ask to see me again?

Which conne?  He also tried to coerce me into promising him not to take Bundo off the bridal train. It was then I was convinced there was trouble. Why would I, for any reason want to take Bundo off my train? Bundo? My very special friend? Nah!

I tilted my head to every possible corner of the car park on Sunday before the service started as I waited for DS.

He wasn’t late.

I was early.

I had been restless, Etim has been quiet; it didn’t look like there was anything amiss. So what was it with DS and evicting Bundo from my bridal train? His car parked a few meters from me and it took me some courage not to dash for him and tear the questions out of his mouth but I suppressed my chilled nerves by keeping a straight face. He wore a black shirt with a cream chinos pants. His hair was neatly combed and his flat black shoes, neatly polished. Everyone knew DS and his obsession for fashion which supplemented his good looks. His gait, set; controlled. He stopped right ahead of me and without as much as a hi, he took off his Louis Vuitton Evasion sunshades.

“Jolaade, who is Femi Fadayini?”

Naturally, I took off my own glasses and settled on the bonnet of the closest car in the church car park murmuring.

Ooooohhhh my Gaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwd!!!!

AmOy!